Do You Really Need to Bring Your Toddler to a Wedding?

This is not a post with answers. This is more of a rant post, with a simple question: is there really a need for a toddler to be present at a big event at a banquet hall?

Last night we went to an important family event, a wedding. Santino's uncle got married, and according to the Italian tradition, a big celebration was planned, with 200 closest relatives and friends attending. It was a beautiful event, a great escape from our daily boring lives, and an excuse to dress up. There was lots of food, music and dancing after dinner.

First, Santino (2.5 y.o.) didn't want to be there. He got very irritated by all the people, unfamiliar premises and the fact that he still had to go, even though he said many times "I don't want to go to a party". Now, that last statement might not mean a lot, as he also stated that he'd rather wear his dinosaur suit instead of the light-colored suit with a vest his grandparents got for him. Nevertheless, he did express his will, and was ignored. All above accumulated into a big tantrum, when Santino cried non-stop, refused to be inside the hall, refused to say "hi" to people and all he wanted to do was getting back into the car.

Yes, he warmed up to the situation later on, relaxed and had a great time running around, blowing off candles and stealing chocolates and cookies. In fact, he had a bit too much fun, and couldn't stop running for 6 hours straight, disappearing from time to time from my sight in the forest of dancing people's legs, all under the outrageously loud music.

That's another thing: loud music and hundreds of drunk people dancing, is not the safest place for an excited toddler, running away from his mother.

No, I couldn't just let him run around. The place is not really designed for toddler's safety, and multiple burning candles only made the situation worse. Yes, one time he almost set a table on fire. He thought it would be fun to hide a candle under the table. Luckily, my husband spotted it on time.

Yes, I'm his mother and it is my responsibility to watch after my kid. Yes, I understand it's hard work and I shouldn't expect to have fun when my toddler is awake and is not safely tucked away in his bed. But, really, the big events like this one are not quite suitable for kids and, I think, are quite damaging. Maybe, because they do not occur often, it's not that bad, but I consider these events unsuitable for little kids due to loud music, disruption of the sleep and multiple potential dangers, like marble floors (easy to break little teeth, if fell on), burning candles (all kinds of dangers), high heels that can step on a little foot, loud music (way, way too loud), hot drinks served, drunk people who are not paying attention, etc.

I should have insisted on leaving Santino at home, but I'm not his only parent, and my concerns were "over-voted" by other relatives' insisting on him being there. Because he is family. I was told that many other kids went through the same thing and other parents bring their kids, and it will be O.K. My mother's instinct told me it was not O.K., but I gave in this time, avoiding tension within family.

What do you think? I learned my lesson and will be more insisting on leaving the kid at home. But, what if it would upset grandparents and other relatives, who might think that I don't want my son to socialize and be with the family? Is there a "happy medium"?

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Hosting Company Post Portum - The baby meet&greet / open house solution for your endless family and friend visit

It's enviable.  You get home from the hospital after delivering a newborn baby. Your a hormonal mess, your husbands exhausted, toddler is still adjusting to the fact that life no longer revolves just him and your house is a little better looking than a war zone.  Everything you read will tell you to "take your time". ....."Wait to have visitors" etc etc.  However the fact of the matter is that people are going to eventually wanna come visit you and your new addition.  You can only keep grandparents and immediate family away for so long, let alone your dear friends who wanna meet your bundle of joy too.  Truthfully it's kind of good for you (and baby too!) to have a little (good) company and get adjusted to life. Isolation is no good for any of you.


Once you've taken the time to adjust and feel a little "ready" to start taking some visits (for me it was the second week but I was anxious to get it out of the way ;), here are some tips that worked for me in managing

1. The open house / meet n greet concept

Pick 1 or 2 days (or afternoons).  Specific time slots that work for YOU (for us that was between 12-3 in the afternoon when my toddler was occupied by nap or after 8pm when he was asleep. Invite you family and friends that your ready to see to pick an "hour" that works for them to come for a "little visit" or "coffee".  Your gracious email tone and choice of words will give them the hint that your looking forward to seeing them but that an hour is probably all you can manage at the moment :)


What to serve?  Should you serve anything?   The choice is totally up to you.  No pressure. Have a look at what I did in 5 mins with a nursing baby in my arms and a toddler occupied by Toopey and Binoo for a sec :)


- SMALL mugs for coffee/tea (disposables would be even easier!)
- drinking glasses
- water
- my tea assortment chest (hot water in my kettle ready to go)
- a small tray of cookies
- napkins


All of this set out in the kitchen on the counter (hot drinks away from the baby) and for guests to HELP THEMSELVES.  I told them too :)


The guests can catch up on all their questions / how labour went and have their snack while you nurse/feed baby and then they have a turn to hold baby (if you are ok with that of course!) when you are done and baby is content.   Don't be afraid to tidy up from snack if you like or get something done/enjoy your hands while they are free as your guests are goggling over your new bundle of joy :).  They don't mind. :)

Some other tips:

- put a baby sleeping sign on your front door permanently.  Cover your door bell even. This will automatically lower people's voices and prevent unwanted door knocking.  


- Turn your phones down to low or off and don't feel bad to only check voicemails and return your calls when you can.   Once a day! while you nurse on speaker phone was a great time for me.  Don't feel like you need to run to every call.  Most people calling are really just wanting to leave you a congrats message anyhow :)


- send out mass email updates/Facebook status updates/thank you's (if you are into that :).   If you keep people informed with how your doing it keeps tons of people from contacting you and you having to respond to so many calls/emails/inquiries on the same deal

- don't be afraid to ask for help while you got them!    When people asked what I needed for baby #2, I didn't hesitate to change things up and request ready made/freezer meals in lieu of another stuffed animal to collect dust :) (see my blog post on "what a new mom really wants"

Other handy tips:

Worried about others holding your baby / germs / smokers?   Have a receiving or other late blanket ready to go.  Place that in everyone's arms before placing baby into that blanket and then into their arms :).   Also keep a bottle of hand sanitizer at your door with a cute little note "your germs are too big for my newborn immune system. Please use me ;)"

2 days.  10 visits.  Happy and informed family and friends.  Happy mom :).  Do what's best for your family and what YOU are comfortable with mom.    To me, "getting the visits over with" for lack of better phrasing was better than dreading how to manage for months on end.  

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Instead of a "Bucket List" - April Activities for Kids

Back in December I suggested to come up with a list of fun activities for winter, a so called "bucket list", and we did! For spring, I am posting a suggested activities calendar for kids. Its fun! (Source: http://kidsactivitiesblog.com/calendar) Grab your ideas for the play dates, moms!

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Yummy Mummy Cookie Exchange Party at Connie's. Pizzelle Recipe

Connie organized a great event, a cookie exchange party for 10 baking-loving mums. Usually, I take a few days and bake hundreds of various cookies, which we pack nicely and give to our neighbors, relatives and friends. I kinda stick to the same recipes more or less, so I hope this party will help me with more variety without extra stress of trying (and failing) new recipes.

In addition to the cookies, we are supposed to bring 10 copies of our recipe to distribute along with the nicely packaged treats. Since the number of places were limited and not everybody who wanted to participate could join, I think it would be better to "distribute" my recipe right here, on our blog, so that all other moms, who aren't going to be there, could still take a small part.

My recipe is Pizzelle, Italian waffles with an intricate beautiful design, perfect for such a festive occasion as Christmas. You can eat them as cookies, just plain as they are, or spread Nutella or jam on one and cover with the other one, making a sort of a sweet sandwich. You probably saw them in the stores, but I'm sure if you make your own, they will taste much much better, in addition to being much more special.

Now, you do need the actual pizzelle maker to make them. I suggest, if you often bake/make your own treats for various occasions, like family gatherings of children parties, then do invest in this great little appliance. It costs around $50 new at Bed, Bath and Beyond, or I'm sure you can also find it in other stores.

The recipe itself is not very demanding in terms of the ingredients, easy to make, no mess, easy to clean up.

So, here's my Pizzelle:

3 large eggs (make sure the eggs are actually large, not the medium ones that call themselves "large")
1/2 cup - sugar
1/2 cup - vegetable oil
1 tsp - vanilla extract
1 tsp - baking powder
1 tbs of any 40% alcohol (makes the pizzelle crispy)
1 tsp - of anise seeds
2 cups - all purpose flour

Take a large bowl, break 3 eggs, add sugar and mix them up well. You can use a mixer, but there is no need, as you are not looking to make stiff peaks or anything like that. Add oil, then spices and alcohol. Take anise seeds and grind them to a fine powder in a coffee grinder or baby bullet. You would need to put more than a spoon of seeds, grind them and then save the rest in a small container for future baking.

Another option, just use Anisette instead. It will give the aroma you are looking for, and will give the crispiness to the waffles.

Add flour. Mix well with a spoon. The batter will be sticky, but that's ok. It shouldn't come out too stiff, as the waffles will be hard. The batter needs to be more on a loose side, that's why it is important to use large eggs, smaller eggs do not provide enough moisture and the batter becomes dry.

Warm up your pizzelle maker according to the manufacturer's instructions. Take 2 teaspoons, pick batter with one, so that it would cover just half of the spoon, and help yourself with the other spoon to put the batter in the middle of the pizzelle form. Then do the same for the other one. Close it tightly, and set the kitchen timer to 80 second. After the timer runs out, open, take the waffles out and put on a flat plate to cool off. Keep the teaspoons you work with in a glass of a cold water. This will help the batter slide off the spoon easier onto the iron surface.

The proper color of pizzelle is dark yellow, so if you see that waffles are coming out brown, then decrease the number of seconds on the timer to 75 or 70 seconds.

That's it. Making them 2 at a time seems like a tedious task, but the time flies, I usually take these seconds to clean up the kitchen, and by the end of the batter I am standing in the clean room.

This recipe will make about 40 waffles.

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Christmas No Baking! Rum balls.

Maybe rum balls are  more of an adult indulgence, but you wouldn't want your 2 year old eat too many cookies anyways, would you? After all, once the kiddos are all in bed, all cute and cuddly, parents are allowed a little something something made just for them. These rum balls also make a great part of the Christmas cookie basket that you would give to your neighbors and friends.

I am sharing the photo of the part of our last Christmas cookie collection. We made these rum balls with various alcohol, not only rum. We made our balls with cognac, Goldshlager, rum and even with Centerbe (this stuff)! The rest of the ingredients are also optional and open for interpretation and are only limited by your imagination.

Here is how we made them last year. Please note, the measurements are approximate, so please "play it by ear"; if the texture is too stiff, add more butter or alcohol (go easy on the alcohol, add by spoon), or if it is too soft, add more crumbs!

Graham cookie crumbs - 900 g
Butter (room temperature) - 200 g
Cocoa powder - 2-3 table spoons
Alcohol - 2-3 shots
(replace regular graham cookie crumbs with oreo crumbs, or other chocolate cookie crumbs and omit cocoa powder)
1 cup of toasted nuts (peanuts, walnuts, whatever other nuts you like) - toast them lightly in the 300F oven for a few minutes, then chop into small pieces.
Add raisins or dried cranberries, or candied fruit, mini chocolate chips of various colors, anything that can add to the texture and taste.

Then it is pretty simple, just put all ingredients together, mix well (by hand, it is the best way!) so that everything is mixed evenly. Form little balls, sprinkle with festive-looking red and green sprinkles, or just confectionery sugar. If you prefer, make other shapes, like cones, or little "snowmen". Place them on a flat cookie sheet and put in the fridge for an hour or so, so that they would cool off and hold the shape better.


Note, that you can make various kinds of these rum balls: make a batch with nuts, another batch with candied fruit, another batch with chocolate chips, etc.

Try not to eat them all at once!

Happy holidays!

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Birthday party for a 2 year old. Fire truck theme.

It's been a challenge for me, but I think I did it. I had a few ideas on what to do for Santino's 2nd birthday party, I followed through on most of them. Here's what I did.

I knew I wanted to do a small playdate-like party for Santino, just with a few of his friends. I wanted to make it a theme party, just for fun and also to give me a better direction for my ideas. I am a kind of person who can't just create something something. I need a theme, a direction, some kind of constraint. Then it becomes easier somehow, just because so many options that otherwise overwhelm me, get cut off and I can stay on track.

A few months ago I thought I would do a Bob-the-Builder theme, but Santino's recent new obsession with fire trucks gave me a new direction.

To make a theme birthday party for a 2 year old, you don't need much. Here's the checklist:

1. Invitations
2. Snacks
3. Entertainment
4. Cake
5. Favors

And that pretty much covers the basics. You can also add decorations here, but I didn't go as far as purchasing fire truck balloons or banner flags, and decided to keep it simple.

So here is a play-by-play of my planning and executing.

Invitations

I opted for a simple and free invitations, so I used email to send them out. I made a digital photo, wrote an invite and gave it a little design in photoshop. And here it is, my own fire truck theme invite!

I specified the date, the time and the length (I made it early morning, more suitable for toddlers), and I also mentioned that second hand gifts are welcome: we welcome the Reduce-Reuse-Recycle idea in our house. Plus, I realize that all these toddlers' moms are stay-at-home, the incomes are limited, and I didn't want to obligate them to buy expensive gifts. Santino doesn't care if its new. He will appreciate any truck or a book about trucks, and that's what I said on the invite.

Snacks

I didn't want to have a bunch of unmanageable toddlers high on sugar running around and bumping in each other, plus I don't promote sugar snacks in our home, so I arranged various fruit slices on pretty plates on a small table. I added toddlers' favorite fish crackers and home made mini carrot cakes. My original idea of "design your own topping" didn't come to life due to various reasons, but toddlers were happy with just the bite size cupcakes. I put lots of carrots, also added butternut squash, nuts and raisins, and put only half the sugar as it is required by the recipe.


Entertainment

I did think of a few fire-truck-themed games, but they all involved water, so required being outside. I realized that would have been too much of a mess, and decided to keep it simple, just playing downstairs in Santino's toy room. It was not that well organized, but toddlers didn't care. Whatever toys they had to play with, they spread all over the room, making such a mess, that I thought I would never be able to clean it. It did take me a few days after the party to finally sort everything through properly.

I turned on some nursery rhymes music, hoping they would dance and sing, but they were too busy. One mom said, in reply to my concern that I didn't have any special games for them, "them just playing like that is fine; I actually wish this how it would be the whole time". And she was right about that.

I had purchased 3 "tunnels" for the kids on a garage sale. They loved playing with those.

I prepared some puzzles and some stacking toys, but they were not in demand. Morning party for the 2 year olds was filled with more active games.

A few nights before, I put together a playlist of fire truck videos and had it playing continuously in another room. I figured, that at some point the kids will get tired of each other, and some will want to calm down and would love to watch some videos. Santino can watch fire trucks on TV for hours, so it was more interesting for him, that for other kids.

I also painted a fire truck mock up with a cut out for the kids to stick their face in and take pictures. We kinda skipped this, not everybody was ready to play with this cut out the way I thought they would. Santino loved it though.

Cake

An hour after the start of the party, we brought the cake, made by Connie of the Perfectly Planned Parties.

I looked great, complimenting the fire truck theme, and the simple vanilla taste pleased the kids. Everybody loved the cake.

Santino loved the fire truck, that came with it, but didn't like the happy birthday song, started crying for some reason.

Party favors.

This project was a mind twister for me. I didn't know what to give the kids as a "thank you" for coming. Buying fire trucks for everybody seemed too expensive. I got the stickers, which is a great bribing tool at this age. And what else? I finally came up with an idea: fire truck cookies!

I didn't think it would be too hard to bake such cookies, but the decoration part was going to be a tricky one.

I found a cookie-cutter recipe online. This one. It worked great for me, who was baking such cookies for the first time! I'm sure it will work great for everybody.

I didn't have the fire truck cookie cutters, so I made one. I drew a simple shape on a card stock, cut it out, and used to trace on the dough! So simple. I found, that this will work great only on the almost frozen dough. If you start cutting soft dough, the edges will be very rugged, not clean.

For decoration, I mixed up some icing sugar (just regular sugar, blended in a small blender, the "Baby Bullet" one; if you don't have Baby Bullet, you can use coffee grinder) with water and some red and yellow icing food coloring. That made the red color of the cookies. To paint the details, I made some merengue icing, and then I just popped the cookies in a warm (not hot) oven for about half an hour, to harden the icing. The oven shouldn't be too hot, as the whites can change the color to brown, and you wouldn't want the cookies to become too hard.

 

For the "thank you" cards, I decided to give Santino an opportunity to participate in making this project. I mixed up some red food coloring with water and added sugar to thicken the mixture, and gave it to Santino. I also cut out a fire truck shape in a potato, in an attempt to make a stamp. The stamp would have worked, if he didn't start slamming that stamp on the cards so hard, that the shape disappeared quickly. Here's what we achieved as a "thank you" card, signed by Santino. 

So, here is a little report on Santino's 2nd birthday party. I already wrote it once, and it got erased by Santino himself. It took me a while to find the time to sit down and write it all over again.

I enjoyed preparing this party for Santino! I wish I knew what I was doing better, but I will try again the next year! After all, there are many more Santino's birthday parties to come!

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