Hosting Company Post Portum - The baby meet&greet / open house solution for your endless family and friend visit

It's enviable.  You get home from the hospital after delivering a newborn baby. Your a hormonal mess, your husbands exhausted, toddler is still adjusting to the fact that life no longer revolves just him and your house is a little better looking than a war zone.  Everything you read will tell you to "take your time". ....."Wait to have visitors" etc etc.  However the fact of the matter is that people are going to eventually wanna come visit you and your new addition.  You can only keep grandparents and immediate family away for so long, let alone your dear friends who wanna meet your bundle of joy too.  Truthfully it's kind of good for you (and baby too!) to have a little (good) company and get adjusted to life. Isolation is no good for any of you.


Once you've taken the time to adjust and feel a little "ready" to start taking some visits (for me it was the second week but I was anxious to get it out of the way ;), here are some tips that worked for me in managing

1. The open house / meet n greet concept

Pick 1 or 2 days (or afternoons).  Specific time slots that work for YOU (for us that was between 12-3 in the afternoon when my toddler was occupied by nap or after 8pm when he was asleep. Invite you family and friends that your ready to see to pick an "hour" that works for them to come for a "little visit" or "coffee".  Your gracious email tone and choice of words will give them the hint that your looking forward to seeing them but that an hour is probably all you can manage at the moment :)


What to serve?  Should you serve anything?   The choice is totally up to you.  No pressure. Have a look at what I did in 5 mins with a nursing baby in my arms and a toddler occupied by Toopey and Binoo for a sec :)


- SMALL mugs for coffee/tea (disposables would be even easier!)
- drinking glasses
- water
- my tea assortment chest (hot water in my kettle ready to go)
- a small tray of cookies
- napkins


All of this set out in the kitchen on the counter (hot drinks away from the baby) and for guests to HELP THEMSELVES.  I told them too :)


The guests can catch up on all their questions / how labour went and have their snack while you nurse/feed baby and then they have a turn to hold baby (if you are ok with that of course!) when you are done and baby is content.   Don't be afraid to tidy up from snack if you like or get something done/enjoy your hands while they are free as your guests are goggling over your new bundle of joy :).  They don't mind. :)

Some other tips:

- put a baby sleeping sign on your front door permanently.  Cover your door bell even. This will automatically lower people's voices and prevent unwanted door knocking.  


- Turn your phones down to low or off and don't feel bad to only check voicemails and return your calls when you can.   Once a day! while you nurse on speaker phone was a great time for me.  Don't feel like you need to run to every call.  Most people calling are really just wanting to leave you a congrats message anyhow :)


- send out mass email updates/Facebook status updates/thank you's (if you are into that :).   If you keep people informed with how your doing it keeps tons of people from contacting you and you having to respond to so many calls/emails/inquiries on the same deal

- don't be afraid to ask for help while you got them!    When people asked what I needed for baby #2, I didn't hesitate to change things up and request ready made/freezer meals in lieu of another stuffed animal to collect dust :) (see my blog post on "what a new mom really wants"

Other handy tips:

Worried about others holding your baby / germs / smokers?   Have a receiving or other late blanket ready to go.  Place that in everyone's arms before placing baby into that blanket and then into their arms :).   Also keep a bottle of hand sanitizer at your door with a cute little note "your germs are too big for my newborn immune system. Please use me ;)"

2 days.  10 visits.  Happy and informed family and friends.  Happy mom :).  Do what's best for your family and what YOU are comfortable with mom.    To me, "getting the visits over with" for lack of better phrasing was better than dreading how to manage for months on end.  

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Counting Our Blessings Instead of Fingers & Toes

It was a scary sight as a new mother.  I remember lying in the hospital bed after having just delivered our second son, Marco.  As the doctors are dealing with my afterbirth I look over to my husband on the other side of the room with my nurse who's dealing with the regular baby work.   

Joe looks over at me as he sees me observing what's going on.  He has a new dad look of Joy on his face and says, "babe he's beautiful...he has 10 fingers and toes".   Then I see him turn back to the nurse and baby and have a quite different look in his face.  One of more worry.  I hear him ask "is that normal?"  I'm getting a little nervous myself now as I can feel his internal struggle of trying to keep it together whilst also wondering how he's going to "break the news" to me. I ask if everything is ok and his response. "95%".   What does that mean?

Our son Marco was born with a hand Deformity known as Syndactyly.  We will know better after some appointments and x-ray tests we have coming up. Basically he has a pinky finger, but the other fingers are fused together to form what looks like one.  At the moment we don't know what could have caused this other than just the sheer miracle of life process and all the cell generation that happens as a part of it....somewhere along that process his fingers just never separated perhaps.....

Looking back .... all those ultrasounds....and we never noticed.  Nor did anyone point it out. (I had several ultrasounds and we even did a 3D one!).  And all the times we as expecting parents say "he has all his fingers and toes....I'm happy" or "as long as he has all his fingers and toes".  I can't help myself but relook at this and now and say "so what?"   So what if we had known or now that we know.  Does it change anything?   Absolutely not!  "So what" if he only has visually 7 fingers?   Does it make him less loved?    Absolutely not!

I want to share the email I sent out to our family and friends when we shared the news about Marcos arrival and what we call "his special hand".  I've had an overwhelming positive response  to it. Perhaps cause I wrote it in 5 minutes strait from my heart as fresh new mom of 2, hormonal, tired and bitterly honest. 

Perhaps this will shed some light on our love for our child who turned out to not have all his fingers and toes.  Perhaps you'll think again about using this phase when referring to a newborn or expecting baby :)

----

Marco DAY 3 UPDATE and Info re: His SPECIAL HAND :)

Hello Family and Friends!

First of all we wanted to say a really REALLY big THANK YOU for everyone's love and support and encouragement throughout the entire pregnancy, the labour and what turned out to be a very FAST delivery.  We wanted everyone to know that Marco, Mommy, Daddy and Jonathan are all doing really REALLY well and we are enjoying day 3 now that we are home from the hospital as a family of 4.  Marco is truly an angel and really just such a good baby.  He's beautiful, happy and healthy...Latching really well.... popping like crazy and gives really awesome cuddles :)    What more could we pray for?

With that said, there is something that we wanted to share with you all.  We did have a little "surprise" and I suppose you can say it's going to be a little "challenge" that we will have to deal with.  It looks like Marco was born with a Hand Deformity possibly known as Syndactyly.  We will know better after some appointments and x-ray tests we have coming up. Basically he has a pinky finger, but the other fingers are fused together to form what looks like one.  At the moment we don't know what could have caused this other than just the sheer miracle of life process and all the cell generation that happens as a part of it....somewhere along that process his fingers just never separated perhaps......

Undoubtedly we will have a little journey ahead of us in terms of getting more information on it, probably speaking to a multitude of different specialists etc.; however we wanted everyone to know that Marco is a completely (...and for lack of a better word....) "normal" baby.  We love him to death.  He is in no way in pain.  He has full functionality of his hand and the "two fingers" that he was blessed to be given.  The hardest part at the moment for all of us is just going to be getting over the "esthetics" of the hand itself and possibly different functionality.  Rest assured, we are being told that this is actually quite common and that there are a ton a options for us to explore on this.  Knowing our family, we will be ALL OVER the research and options :)  And we've been so blessed with so many great family and friends that we are sure you will all be there to love and support us through it too.

We trust that you will keep Marco and us in your prayers.  We are so excited for you all to meet him.  Please PLEASE PLEASE do not worry about US or HIM.  We are all TOTALLY fine over here.  We really appreciate your love and support through this.  We weren't sure the best way to handle sharing this information; however after much thought we figured it would be best to just put the information out there so that everyone can ask any questions they might have (...and possibly share any information, contacts, resources you have found too!).   Please feel free to ask us anything, touch him, hold him, love him, hold his hand...explore.....  He's a BEAUTIFUL baby boy (he looks exactly like his big brother Jonathan ;)

Looking forward to seeing you all with our new bundle of joy!

xoxox  The Berenguers

Marco Joseph Berenguer
Weighing 7lbs, 8onz
Born April 12, 2013 at 6:42am

For this child we have prayed and the LORD has granted the desires of our heart. 1 Samuel 1:27

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One of "Those Days"

Today will go down in history as "one of those days".  I'm sure many of my mommy friends will be able to relate.  You know one of "those days" when you just should have trusted your "gut" and not left the house?  Yup.... That was me!

I left our local community centre this morning (they were having a special kids Easter event) at 36 weeks pregnant carrying my 35lb kicking and screaming 2 year old *sigh*. This was after what i think were three very generous warnings about waiting in line (patience), staying close to mommy (obedience) and listening with your ears (attentiveness) - three character qualities that we've been working really hard at.

We are now home having a "time out day" which includes us watching his Brother Francis movie about "Forgiveness".  He requested it after a discussion we had about how he should to say sorry to mommy and Jesus for his behaviour (we are a practicing Catholic family).  I thought it was an excellent idea! In fact; I think we will spend the day learning more about this forgiveness and repentance as a result.  

In reflecting on what had happened; all I can do is chalk this up to a learning experience and a really good lesson for me as a mom.  I really need to learn to trust my "gut instinct" (or if your a Christian family, those little messages that God sends you) a little more. Obviously when your child wakes up rotten (like we all do at times); probably not a smart idea to take him out to a major event where there will be lots of temptation and chaos.  It's actually probably not fair to even expect a 2 year old to be able to handle something like that given his temperament that day.  Lesson learned! 

The great thing about days like today is all the great things we learn from it - both us as moms as well as our children.  I'm actually really looking forward to a day of teaching and reflection with my son about behaviour, forgiveness and remorse.  

Luckily I don't have many days like this  ;)

Thank You,

Connie & Jonathan Berenguer

Founders / Directors

E. connie@connieberenguer.com

W. www.goobergang.yolasite.com

 

Resources: Brother Francis series of DVDs for children. Especially "Forgiven". 

See http://www.catholicchapterhouse.com/store/dvds/children-s-dvds/brother-francis-forgiven-the-blessings-of-confession

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Good 'Ol Fashioned Birthdays Parties and Potential HARMFUL Risks You May Not Have Thought About

As an event planner by profession and fellow mom, of course my head is always spinning with new event ideas and ways for the kids to have a fun time.  Recently I had to plan to party which would have many children ages 0-6 years.  I must have been stuck in some type of time warp the last few years, because what apparently the things we all grew up with at birthday parties as children (and still likely do in our homes and experience when we go to other birthday parties) are now not considered "safe".  In fact, they are FORBIDDDEN in many places.  

I am sharing this information with all you fellow parents and "party planners" out there in case you, like me, had no idea.  And please don't feel bad about it!  Because I totally beat myself up (and likely still am, hence this blog rant post) because I felt like "I should have known better" or that I was a "bad mother" or "bad event planner" because of it.  The fact of the matter is that information changes all the time and sometimes we don't even realize such things until we become a parent and experience it hands on to learn about it.  Of course we all want the best for our children and when caring for other children we especially want to ensure their safety as well.  So although you (like me) may find some of these things a little "extreme"; after thinking about it some more you may see that they do in fact make sense.  Just be aware of these recommendations and decide what to do in your own home for your own parties and with your own children - and don't be surprised like I was if a 3rd party place you chose to host a party at will absolutely just not allow certain things in their facility.

Allow me to elaborate on just some the dangers: 

1.     Balloons.  Apparently now HUGELY forbidden. I had some that I was going to blow up for decoration at a party but apparently they are a huge choking hazard for children (both un-inflated and inflated).  I must have been naive to think that birthday parties generally have balloons?   The last dozen of parties I've been to with my son recently have had balloons?  I never thought twice about it.   But yes, it's true (see links below to Canadian Red Cross).   Balloons are totally a thing of parties past. 

2.     Most Candy & Chocolate.  It's not challenging enough (but at least it's very common knowledge now) that we need to be extremely careful when it comes to Nut Free treats.  This is generally an accepted principal across the board now and "common knowledge".  However in going through my Piñata recently almost 100% of what was in there proposed some type of danger per the resource links provided.  Whether it be a dangerous due to a "stick" (i.e. lolly pops), too hard of candy, too chewy of candy, the shape, the size, etc. -- the fact is that most candy you can get today is just NOT RECOMMENDED.  So scrap the piñata all together I suppose?

3.     Popcorn.  Yup!  They serve it as part of the kids meals at movie theatre and will sell it to you at any children's show (I just bought some for my son at Disney On Ice), but also extremely not advisable. With its sharp edges and kernel flakes, popcorn is one of those foods that can even get caught in an adult's throat, causing gagging and choking.

Thankfully we could sing happy birthday and have a candle for me to blow for the event I had planned.  (I suppose it wasn't unreasonable for me to ask if cutting a cake with a knife or having an "open flame" was an issue after my other new findings?   (--> insert sarcasm here ;) ........ Good thing this was allowed *phew* cause my birthday party plans would have turned into just another day of chaos but with 30 unoccupied kids to entertain and equally frazzled moms.

Thank You,

Connie Berenguer

Founder / Director

Newmarket Goober Gang Play Group

E. connie@connieberenguer.com

W. www.goobergang.yolasite.com

See the following resources for further information:

Canadian Red Cross http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=6884&tid=021

Ontario Public Health: http://news.ontario.ca/mcscs/en/2011/08/public-safety-reminder-from-the-chief-coroner-for-ontario.html

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GOOBER GANG ADOPTS A FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Hey Gang

I thought it would be a nice gesture as an organization this year to try and adopt a family for Christmas. It's something our family tries to do each year but in these economic times and being a single income family (like many of us!) I know it can get difficult to commit to something like this on your own... So I thought doing it as an organization this year would be a great option for all of us to contribute how we can :)

Many of you may have heard, seen or even known a family who has been assisted by The Yellow Brick House Organization. One of their homes is actually right here in Aurora!! I've personally known moms and went to school with kids who were helped in times of need from this organization and coincidentally our friend, Amber Gordon-Bunn, from Goober Gang works there as a Fundraising Coordinator. So what a better organization to pick ~ helping women and children being affected by abuse!!...

How Can You Help?

The answer in short is IN ANY WAY YOU CAN! Below are the details of "our family" that we are loosely sponsoring as a guideline. Those who would like to donate monetary gifts, gift cards or the items specified below can do so.

Furthermore, there are TONS of other families with a wide arrangement of needs, including the organization itself which is always looking for supplies for use in the homes. So basically anything new / unused goes! Here are some ideas.....

• toiletries for mom and baby (samples are great! i.e. mini shampoos, soaps, razors, toothpaste, floss etc.)
• unused ladies and children's clothing, shoes, purses, scarves, hats, mitts etc.
• toys, art supplies, colouring books, books, learning toys / items
• chocolates, candies, "stocking stuffers", nick nack toys
• non-perishable food items
• cosmetic products (we all have so many hand soaps, perfumes, creams and such!)
• diapers & diapering products (..have unused ones that your kids grew out of? Loose unused diapers are ok...)
• unused Christmas decorations, good condition gift wrap / bags / ribbon /wrapping supplies etc.

...and more! the list goes on.. If you are not sure on an item, just ask!

How To Submit Your Items?

Drop Off: to Connie's house ~ 58 Ross Patrick Cres Newmarket *at your convenience. A bin on my porch will remain available.. Just call or email me when you'll be dropping off so I can look out for the items or arrange to be home (connie@connieberenguer.com 416.885.9709). You can put your name on the items if you like.....

Email: you can send an email money transfer (EMT) to my personal email address connie@connieberenguer.com and I will cut a chq to the organization as a whole from all the EMT's I get

Mail: you can mail your chq's or gift cards to me at:
Connie Berenguer
58 Ross Patrick Cres
Newmarket, ON L3X 3G9

In Person: you can personally give my your donations when you see me next :) I'll be at most of the upcoming Goober Gang and Life With A Baby Play Dates :) If you prefer to give your gift directly to the organization (I totally don't mind and understand!) ~ Amber is happy to accept them also.... You can email or call her direct:

Amber Gordon-Bunn,
Resource Development Coordinator
52 West Beaver Creek, Unit 4
Richmond Hill, ON L4B 1L9
T: 905.709.0900 Ext. 2230
Toll Free: 1.800.263.2231
F: 905.709.1308
amberg@yellowbrickhouse.org

For those looking to receive a tax receipt for a cash donation, please make your donation through www.yellowbrickhouse.org -- “donate now” button or provide to me directly and I will collect the information we need to get your receipt: (name, address, postal code and amount (over $20).....

We are hoping that gifts for families can either be delivered (or picked up if absolutely needed) by December 7 (preferred) or December 14 (absolute deadline!). PLEASE DO NOT WRAP YOUR ITEMS. THE ORGANIZATION WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT!

---------------------------------

Yellow Brick House - FAMILY #54

Mom Female 21 M Ladies 9
Wish List: Mom didn’t request personal items so on her behalf, a gift basket or gift cards (grocery, clothing or gas) would be lovely. Also a journal or digital camera to capture memories.

Child #1 Male 2.5 years T3 T8
Wish List: warm clothing, diapers (size 5), wipes, Train set (chugginton) snowsuit and boots, pajama’s, board books, Leap frog Tag reader or Leap pad, superhero sheets/comforter

Child #2 Female 2 months 3-6 months Infant 2
Wish List: clothing, crib sheets, wipes, diapers (Size 1), toys, formula, bundle me car seat cover, bath items

---------------------------------

Thank you and looking forward to seeing what we can come up with as a group :) Hopefully a BUNCH of happily mommies and kids :)


UPDATE:

Here is a thank you mail to all Goober Gang moms for donating and Connie personally for organizing this event:

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Ideas For Setting Up A Play Room / "School" Room

When Jonathan turned 6 months old and started to crawl, I really started to feel the "need" for some sort of "play room" for him.  I was tired of my entire house being a play zone.  Tired all the nicks on the walls, things getting damaged, baby-proofing to the 9's and mostly not having a space for him to be a KID and not always have to tidy up cause people may come to the door and see a demolition zone!  We had bins in every room of toys.  What was once our "new home"; professionally decorated to our likes; had now turned into a child's den. It was time to move to renovate!

Now, I totally understand that everyone's situation is different and not everyone has the ability to just randomly create a new "space" in their home.  For us, we had an unfinished basement with some ideas in the back of our mind to someday renovate it.  Apparently now was the time! If you are considering renovating your basement too or another room in your home to create a play room, or for my homeschooling friends - if you are looking for "school" room ideas OR if you even just want to make your regular home space a little more "kid friendly"; here are some things that we did that we are finding is working great!  In fact, I am writing this article as a response to a request from others parents who have been to our home for play dates :)

THE ZONES:    our new play area consists of different areas or "zones" as I call them.

The Kitchen

When Jonathan first took a liking to "kitchen play"; we just didn't have the space or money to invest in one of those really neat / large kitchen play seats.  So instead we just got this little table top mini kitchen :)    I like how it takes up less space and is easily portable / removable.    We have a ton of "play food" and kitchen items.  I took a bunch of plastic kids tableware out of our own kitchen and gave jonathan his own shopping bag, chef's hat and apron to finish off the look

**beware -- the play kitchen food is a huge mess-maker :)  Although its lots of fun, be prepared to be picking it up off the floor all the time :)   (http://www.toysrus.ca/product/index.jsp?productId=11651726)

 

jonathan cooks in his "kitchen".  This particular table top one was from Costco.

Jonathan sets the table for baby and puppy.  This table couples as as art table.

The Chalk Wall

These are hugely popular.  You can buy chalk board paint at most big box building stores today.  We got this one from Home Depot (http://www.homedepot.ca/product/chalkboard-paint-black-887ml/980042).  Note that it doesn't have to be black!  you can get it made in any colour you choose.  Also -- there is a magnetic base that you can put on as well if you'd like to also have a huge magnet board *although I hear it doesn't work too great.   **be sure your walls are smooth or sand them.  And great ready to do at least 3 coats :)  To clean our board / wall, we just use a wet microfiber cleaning cloth.  If you are worried about "chalk dust", there is really cool new dustless chalk (Crayola) and chalk paint.   But, once again, remember that this is a kids room so a little chalk mess is not a problem in a designated kids play area.  Id caution more about doing something like this in a bedroom.....

http://www.crayola.com/browse-products/12-ct-anduseptic-antidust-chalk-sticks.aspx

The Arts & Crafts Area

Arts and crafts were always hugely important to me!  So we have designated bins and bins of craft supplies alone.  Everything has its own place and is labelled.  I find if everything has a proper spot and you teach your kids to respect their toys, it's not a problem to have it all out like this.  Jonathan is especially good at knowing that colouring happens only on the paper and that markers need their lids back on them.   Only 1 or 2 play doh colours are allowed to be opened at a time (even though I think we have a lifetime supply of play doh in our house!)

http://www.staples.ca/ENG/Catalog/cat_sku.asp?CatIds=&webid=682538&affixedcode=WW                                                                                    

A Dymo Labeller is my best friend :)  Beware the label tape is pricey :(

http://www.canadiantire.ca/AST/browse/3/HouseHome/StorageOrganization/ContainersBinsTotes/PRD~0680449P/12+Bin+Organizer.jsp?locale=en   

**These go on sale all the time.   Reg $69.99 but I only paid $35 for mine :)

The Play Area

Really this is everywhere, but I do have those foam mats on the floor in designated areas for "floor play."  Once again; every toy has a spot or bin that it goes it.

You'll notice in our home (as part of our homeschooling philosophy); we try to have as little "noisy" toys as possible.  In addition, where possible I try to get wood or cloth toys.  The less plastic the better!

Some of our favourite toys include:

1) lacing beads

Primary Lacing Beads   http://www.setonbooks.com/viewone.php?ToView=P-MDPK-37

2) Melissa and Doug wood puzzles

Numbers and letters sound puzzles http://www.setonbooks.com/viewone.php?ToView=P-MDPK-16

3) stacking toys

http://www.ikea.com/ca/en/catalog/products/60061967/

4) books  *note that we actually have a children's library in our home that could rival a public library :)  it is not located in our new basement play area as I find too many books in one place at any time leads to less appreciation and inattentiveness.  Instead, we have 1 bin of books in the play area and 1 in our bedroom (that I pre-select based on age appropriateness, the time of year i.e. if a holiday is around the corner, what we are learning i.e. colours, numbers, etc., our interests at the time i.e. trains, etc.)

The Reading Nook

Further to above, we have what I like to call a reading nook under our staircase.  It was an odd shape / space to fill so I thought it would make a great place to throw a bunch of pillows down for quiet time and reading.  This can easily be done anywhere with some foam floor mats and random pillows.  **I have future plans to add a curtain around this area to also couple this as a hide-out / fort area some day.

The Media Area

Yes - this basically means that we have a TV in our play room. But before I get ahead of myself let's just say that this TV is actually not really for the kids :)    We figured if we were going to finish the basement, we should at least put a sofa down there and a TV in case mom and dad ever wanted to hide out down there :)   I can see this being of more use in the years to come.  We have video games hooked up to this tv so we can do our Wii Fit in this space, etc.  jonathan also has age appropriate video games that he is allowed to play on occasion

Some of our favourite DVDs

1) Brother Francis Series

http://www.catholicchapterhouse.com/catalogsearch/result/?order=relevance&dir=desc&s=brother+francis&q=brother+francis&searchSelect=store

2) Character Builders DVD Series

http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/prm100/

The Homeschool Area

As a homeschooling family, our needs may be a little different in terms of organizing our day.  Where possible, I try to not "model" a school classroom environment as this is not really what I want to create.  Instead, I model it around functionality and organization; mainly for my sake as the "teacher".

~ The Week Wall

These are little pockets attached to the wall of what we are going to be doing "school wise" each day of the week.  This could be worksheets from our curriculum as well as a multitude of supplemental resources I use

~ The Word Wall

This is what Jonathan is currently working on.  Right now its letter recognition, number recognition, name recognition and his colours.  Right now he knows his letters A-Z, numbers 1-20 and all his primary colours. My goal for this year is for him to recognise each of them at random, know his letter sounds and be able to write his name.  Wish us luck!

~ Mommy's Desk

This is my "cube" of resources and materials for homeschooling.  Jonathan really doesn't touch or play with these items (unless he chooses to grab his flash cards off the shelf for some extra practise of course;)

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