Hosting Company Post Portum - The baby meet&greet / open house solution for your endless family and friend visit

It's enviable.  You get home from the hospital after delivering a newborn baby. Your a hormonal mess, your husbands exhausted, toddler is still adjusting to the fact that life no longer revolves just him and your house is a little better looking than a war zone.  Everything you read will tell you to "take your time". ....."Wait to have visitors" etc etc.  However the fact of the matter is that people are going to eventually wanna come visit you and your new addition.  You can only keep grandparents and immediate family away for so long, let alone your dear friends who wanna meet your bundle of joy too.  Truthfully it's kind of good for you (and baby too!) to have a little (good) company and get adjusted to life. Isolation is no good for any of you.


Once you've taken the time to adjust and feel a little "ready" to start taking some visits (for me it was the second week but I was anxious to get it out of the way ;), here are some tips that worked for me in managing

1. The open house / meet n greet concept

Pick 1 or 2 days (or afternoons).  Specific time slots that work for YOU (for us that was between 12-3 in the afternoon when my toddler was occupied by nap or after 8pm when he was asleep. Invite you family and friends that your ready to see to pick an "hour" that works for them to come for a "little visit" or "coffee".  Your gracious email tone and choice of words will give them the hint that your looking forward to seeing them but that an hour is probably all you can manage at the moment :)


What to serve?  Should you serve anything?   The choice is totally up to you.  No pressure. Have a look at what I did in 5 mins with a nursing baby in my arms and a toddler occupied by Toopey and Binoo for a sec :)


- SMALL mugs for coffee/tea (disposables would be even easier!)
- drinking glasses
- water
- my tea assortment chest (hot water in my kettle ready to go)
- a small tray of cookies
- napkins


All of this set out in the kitchen on the counter (hot drinks away from the baby) and for guests to HELP THEMSELVES.  I told them too :)


The guests can catch up on all their questions / how labour went and have their snack while you nurse/feed baby and then they have a turn to hold baby (if you are ok with that of course!) when you are done and baby is content.   Don't be afraid to tidy up from snack if you like or get something done/enjoy your hands while they are free as your guests are goggling over your new bundle of joy :).  They don't mind. :)

Some other tips:

- put a baby sleeping sign on your front door permanently.  Cover your door bell even. This will automatically lower people's voices and prevent unwanted door knocking.  


- Turn your phones down to low or off and don't feel bad to only check voicemails and return your calls when you can.   Once a day! while you nurse on speaker phone was a great time for me.  Don't feel like you need to run to every call.  Most people calling are really just wanting to leave you a congrats message anyhow :)


- send out mass email updates/Facebook status updates/thank you's (if you are into that :).   If you keep people informed with how your doing it keeps tons of people from contacting you and you having to respond to so many calls/emails/inquiries on the same deal

- don't be afraid to ask for help while you got them!    When people asked what I needed for baby #2, I didn't hesitate to change things up and request ready made/freezer meals in lieu of another stuffed animal to collect dust :) (see my blog post on "what a new mom really wants"

Other handy tips:

Worried about others holding your baby / germs / smokers?   Have a receiving or other late blanket ready to go.  Place that in everyone's arms before placing baby into that blanket and then into their arms :).   Also keep a bottle of hand sanitizer at your door with a cute little note "your germs are too big for my newborn immune system. Please use me ;)"

2 days.  10 visits.  Happy and informed family and friends.  Happy mom :).  Do what's best for your family and what YOU are comfortable with mom.    To me, "getting the visits over with" for lack of better phrasing was better than dreading how to manage for months on end.  

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Counting Our Blessings Instead of Fingers & Toes

It was a scary sight as a new mother.  I remember lying in the hospital bed after having just delivered our second son, Marco.  As the doctors are dealing with my afterbirth I look over to my husband on the other side of the room with my nurse who's dealing with the regular baby work.   

Joe looks over at me as he sees me observing what's going on.  He has a new dad look of Joy on his face and says, "babe he's beautiful...he has 10 fingers and toes".   Then I see him turn back to the nurse and baby and have a quite different look in his face.  One of more worry.  I hear him ask "is that normal?"  I'm getting a little nervous myself now as I can feel his internal struggle of trying to keep it together whilst also wondering how he's going to "break the news" to me. I ask if everything is ok and his response. "95%".   What does that mean?

Our son Marco was born with a hand Deformity known as Syndactyly.  We will know better after some appointments and x-ray tests we have coming up. Basically he has a pinky finger, but the other fingers are fused together to form what looks like one.  At the moment we don't know what could have caused this other than just the sheer miracle of life process and all the cell generation that happens as a part of it....somewhere along that process his fingers just never separated perhaps.....

Looking back .... all those ultrasounds....and we never noticed.  Nor did anyone point it out. (I had several ultrasounds and we even did a 3D one!).  And all the times we as expecting parents say "he has all his fingers and toes....I'm happy" or "as long as he has all his fingers and toes".  I can't help myself but relook at this and now and say "so what?"   So what if we had known or now that we know.  Does it change anything?   Absolutely not!  "So what" if he only has visually 7 fingers?   Does it make him less loved?    Absolutely not!

I want to share the email I sent out to our family and friends when we shared the news about Marcos arrival and what we call "his special hand".  I've had an overwhelming positive response  to it. Perhaps cause I wrote it in 5 minutes strait from my heart as fresh new mom of 2, hormonal, tired and bitterly honest. 

Perhaps this will shed some light on our love for our child who turned out to not have all his fingers and toes.  Perhaps you'll think again about using this phase when referring to a newborn or expecting baby :)

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Marco DAY 3 UPDATE and Info re: His SPECIAL HAND :)

Hello Family and Friends!

First of all we wanted to say a really REALLY big THANK YOU for everyone's love and support and encouragement throughout the entire pregnancy, the labour and what turned out to be a very FAST delivery.  We wanted everyone to know that Marco, Mommy, Daddy and Jonathan are all doing really REALLY well and we are enjoying day 3 now that we are home from the hospital as a family of 4.  Marco is truly an angel and really just such a good baby.  He's beautiful, happy and healthy...Latching really well.... popping like crazy and gives really awesome cuddles :)    What more could we pray for?

With that said, there is something that we wanted to share with you all.  We did have a little "surprise" and I suppose you can say it's going to be a little "challenge" that we will have to deal with.  It looks like Marco was born with a Hand Deformity possibly known as Syndactyly.  We will know better after some appointments and x-ray tests we have coming up. Basically he has a pinky finger, but the other fingers are fused together to form what looks like one.  At the moment we don't know what could have caused this other than just the sheer miracle of life process and all the cell generation that happens as a part of it....somewhere along that process his fingers just never separated perhaps......

Undoubtedly we will have a little journey ahead of us in terms of getting more information on it, probably speaking to a multitude of different specialists etc.; however we wanted everyone to know that Marco is a completely (...and for lack of a better word....) "normal" baby.  We love him to death.  He is in no way in pain.  He has full functionality of his hand and the "two fingers" that he was blessed to be given.  The hardest part at the moment for all of us is just going to be getting over the "esthetics" of the hand itself and possibly different functionality.  Rest assured, we are being told that this is actually quite common and that there are a ton a options for us to explore on this.  Knowing our family, we will be ALL OVER the research and options :)  And we've been so blessed with so many great family and friends that we are sure you will all be there to love and support us through it too.

We trust that you will keep Marco and us in your prayers.  We are so excited for you all to meet him.  Please PLEASE PLEASE do not worry about US or HIM.  We are all TOTALLY fine over here.  We really appreciate your love and support through this.  We weren't sure the best way to handle sharing this information; however after much thought we figured it would be best to just put the information out there so that everyone can ask any questions they might have (...and possibly share any information, contacts, resources you have found too!).   Please feel free to ask us anything, touch him, hold him, love him, hold his hand...explore.....  He's a BEAUTIFUL baby boy (he looks exactly like his big brother Jonathan ;)

Looking forward to seeing you all with our new bundle of joy!

xoxox  The Berenguers

Marco Joseph Berenguer
Weighing 7lbs, 8onz
Born April 12, 2013 at 6:42am

For this child we have prayed and the LORD has granted the desires of our heart. 1 Samuel 1:27

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Good 'Ol Fashioned Birthdays Parties and Potential HARMFUL Risks You May Not Have Thought About

As an event planner by profession and fellow mom, of course my head is always spinning with new event ideas and ways for the kids to have a fun time.  Recently I had to plan to party which would have many children ages 0-6 years.  I must have been stuck in some type of time warp the last few years, because what apparently the things we all grew up with at birthday parties as children (and still likely do in our homes and experience when we go to other birthday parties) are now not considered "safe".  In fact, they are FORBIDDDEN in many places.  

I am sharing this information with all you fellow parents and "party planners" out there in case you, like me, had no idea.  And please don't feel bad about it!  Because I totally beat myself up (and likely still am, hence this blog rant post) because I felt like "I should have known better" or that I was a "bad mother" or "bad event planner" because of it.  The fact of the matter is that information changes all the time and sometimes we don't even realize such things until we become a parent and experience it hands on to learn about it.  Of course we all want the best for our children and when caring for other children we especially want to ensure their safety as well.  So although you (like me) may find some of these things a little "extreme"; after thinking about it some more you may see that they do in fact make sense.  Just be aware of these recommendations and decide what to do in your own home for your own parties and with your own children - and don't be surprised like I was if a 3rd party place you chose to host a party at will absolutely just not allow certain things in their facility.

Allow me to elaborate on just some the dangers: 

1.     Balloons.  Apparently now HUGELY forbidden. I had some that I was going to blow up for decoration at a party but apparently they are a huge choking hazard for children (both un-inflated and inflated).  I must have been naive to think that birthday parties generally have balloons?   The last dozen of parties I've been to with my son recently have had balloons?  I never thought twice about it.   But yes, it's true (see links below to Canadian Red Cross).   Balloons are totally a thing of parties past. 

2.     Most Candy & Chocolate.  It's not challenging enough (but at least it's very common knowledge now) that we need to be extremely careful when it comes to Nut Free treats.  This is generally an accepted principal across the board now and "common knowledge".  However in going through my Piñata recently almost 100% of what was in there proposed some type of danger per the resource links provided.  Whether it be a dangerous due to a "stick" (i.e. lolly pops), too hard of candy, too chewy of candy, the shape, the size, etc. -- the fact is that most candy you can get today is just NOT RECOMMENDED.  So scrap the piñata all together I suppose?

3.     Popcorn.  Yup!  They serve it as part of the kids meals at movie theatre and will sell it to you at any children's show (I just bought some for my son at Disney On Ice), but also extremely not advisable. With its sharp edges and kernel flakes, popcorn is one of those foods that can even get caught in an adult's throat, causing gagging and choking.

Thankfully we could sing happy birthday and have a candle for me to blow for the event I had planned.  (I suppose it wasn't unreasonable for me to ask if cutting a cake with a knife or having an "open flame" was an issue after my other new findings?   (--> insert sarcasm here ;) ........ Good thing this was allowed *phew* cause my birthday party plans would have turned into just another day of chaos but with 30 unoccupied kids to entertain and equally frazzled moms.

Thank You,

Connie Berenguer

Founder / Director

Newmarket Goober Gang Play Group

E. connie@connieberenguer.com

W. www.goobergang.yolasite.com

See the following resources for further information:

Canadian Red Cross http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=6884&tid=021

Ontario Public Health: http://news.ontario.ca/mcscs/en/2011/08/public-safety-reminder-from-the-chief-coroner-for-ontario.html

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Guest blog: Life With a Baby. The Truth About Cloth Diapering

We are starting cooperation with another moms group: Life With a Baby. We all are familiar with this group, as our own Connie has been working hard on organizing fun activities for both Goober Gang and LWAB. They have a great blog with awesome inspirational articles, and they are willing to share some with us.
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When I was pregnant with my first son I started researching cloth diapering.  I wouldn’t consider myself a “tree-hugger” but the thought of it taking 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose really bothered me.  There were other benefits that interested me too…such as no chemicals on my baby’s precious skin and the huge amounts of money it would save us.

I quickly became overwhelmed by all of the colours, types, patterns, and accessories available.  Did we want to use all-in-ones, pocket diapers, hybrids…the choices were endless!  Not knowing exactly where to start I turned to the only friend I had that cloth diapered and she explained the brand she chose and her system.  I decided I would just copy her method since it worked out so well for her.

So what is our method you ask?  I will tell you what worked for us, this may not work for everyone though.  Instead of spending money on cutesy newborn cloth diapers that Corin would grow out of quickly we decided to use prefolds and covers.  This is one of the cheapest options available and can be used for the entire diapering life of a child but we only used them until he was big enough to fit his next set of diapers.

The next diapers we used were a one-size pocket diaper.  We loved these as they were easy to put on, similar to disposables for our child caregivers, but they had snaps that allowed us to adjust them to fit Corin as he was growing.  He has worn these diapers since 8 weeks old and is still in them today.  We stuff the diapers differently depending on if it’s daytime or nighttime.

The next diapers we used were a one-size pocket diaper.  We loved these as they were easy to put on, similar to disposables for our child caregivers, but they had snaps that allowed us to adjust them to fit Corin as he was growing.  He has worn these diapers since 8 weeks old and is still in them today.  We stuff the diapers differently depending on if it’s daytime or nighttime.

 As far as storing and washing them goes, it is pretty simple.  We have a cheap kitchen garbage pail next to the change table that we put a pail liner in.  When the pail is full with diapers and cloth wipes (usually every 2-3 days) I dump them in the washing machine: warm rinse, hot wash with cloth diaper-safe detergent, cold rinse.  Then the covers get hung to dry and all the rest goes into the dryer.

The question everyone always has though is around poop…how to handle it, doesn’t it clog your washing machine, etc.  Corin was exclusively breastfeed for his first 6 months and since BF poop is water-soluble we could just toss the diapers into the washing machine without a second thought.  Once he started solids we had to scrape/dump the poop into the toilet before we could wash the diapers.  Some people even invest in diaper sprayers to help get the poop into the toilet but we haven’t found that necessary for us.

 I am totally in love with cloth diapering and the money it has saved our family.  I highly recommend them to anyone, don’t be fooled by misinformation…the new generation of cloth diapers are NOT your mother’s cloth diapers!

When I started talking about cloth diapering to my friends and family it was met with a lot of scoffing and joking.  People thought I was crazy and that it was too much work for a first time mom.  They said I would never last.  That sparked the competitive side in me and I thought “I’ll show them”!!  For the past 26.5 months my son has only ever worn cloth diapers…he has never once worn a disposable diaper.  I was so committed to proving all the nay-sayers wrong that I took it to the extreme.

http://www.realdiaperassociation.org/diaperfacts.php


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About the Author: Gillian Slate is a Doula and working mom to her 2-year-old son Corin and 3 month old, Ronan.  She is also the Community Organizer for Life With a Baby, Windsor. She is a “crunchy” mama who is into homebirth, breastfeeding, baby-led weaning, cloth diapers, delayed vaccinations, extended rear-facing car seats, and babywearing.

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Tip: to avoid night time flooding

In our Goober Gang group, we already discussed this issue, exchanging tips on how to prevent night time flooding, as babies and toddlers often sleep through the night on their tummies.

I suggested double diapering for the night, which works great. Recently, though, I noticed that double or not, Santino still often wakes up wet. And, its not because the diaper was so full, rather the diapers got pulled down over the night, and the pee escaped from the top. This issue does not depend on the size, make and style of the diaper. I tried various kinds and styles.

It seems, that I found a solution: I put the diaper backwards. It goes up his tummy and stays there, while the front part stays in place on his bum.

P.S. I hear, its something that other moms practice as well, but I wanted to share this tip anyways. Works magic!

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Top Teething Toys

How many of you have a 'Sophie Giraffe' teether for your little one? These teethers came out when Liam was little, and I didn't get what all the fuss was about. I bought one for Liam because, I hate to admit it, but because everyone else had one. Once he had it, I still didn't quite get what all the fuss was about. But at least when I heard 'Who's Sophie does this belong to?', I could look up.

I wanted to share my Top 3 Teethers:

1. Ringley Natural Teething Toys

This would be my alternate to the Sophie Giraffe because it is still a 'high end' teether, price ranging from $16 to $25. What I love about these toys is that Baby can chew on either the untreated maple ring or the organic cotton terrycloth. They also come in a variety of designs (seen here ). Oh, and they are Canadian! I have seen these sold at Nature's Emporium in Newmarket.

2. Nuby Bug A Loop Teether

This teether has been a favourite for both my boys. It retails    for around $5! My boys loved all the different textures and colours.
They say it's best for back teeth, but my boys have both loved this teether since their early teething days. Sold at Babies R Us.




3. Teething Bling

Yes this is teething jewelry! Necklaces and bangles you and your baby will love. I love my necklace because I can wear it anywhere, and if I don't have to remember to pack a teether. Necklaces sell for around $20 and gift sets including necklace and bangles sell for around $35. I have seen the necklaces at Once Upon a Child (new not used lol) and can also be purchased online on their website . These products make awesome baby shower gifts!


Are there any you would recommend?

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