One of "Those Days"

Today will go down in history as "one of those days".  I'm sure many of my mommy friends will be able to relate.  You know one of "those days" when you just should have trusted your "gut" and not left the house?  Yup.... That was me!

I left our local community centre this morning (they were having a special kids Easter event) at 36 weeks pregnant carrying my 35lb kicking and screaming 2 year old *sigh*. This was after what i think were three very generous warnings about waiting in line (patience), staying close to mommy (obedience) and listening with your ears (attentiveness) - three character qualities that we've been working really hard at.

We are now home having a "time out day" which includes us watching his Brother Francis movie about "Forgiveness".  He requested it after a discussion we had about how he should to say sorry to mommy and Jesus for his behaviour (we are a practicing Catholic family).  I thought it was an excellent idea! In fact; I think we will spend the day learning more about this forgiveness and repentance as a result.  

In reflecting on what had happened; all I can do is chalk this up to a learning experience and a really good lesson for me as a mom.  I really need to learn to trust my "gut instinct" (or if your a Christian family, those little messages that God sends you) a little more. Obviously when your child wakes up rotten (like we all do at times); probably not a smart idea to take him out to a major event where there will be lots of temptation and chaos.  It's actually probably not fair to even expect a 2 year old to be able to handle something like that given his temperament that day.  Lesson learned! 

The great thing about days like today is all the great things we learn from it - both us as moms as well as our children.  I'm actually really looking forward to a day of teaching and reflection with my son about behaviour, forgiveness and remorse.  

Luckily I don't have many days like this  ;)

Thank You,

Connie & Jonathan Berenguer

Founders / Directors

E. connie@connieberenguer.com

W. www.goobergang.yolasite.com

 

Resources: Brother Francis series of DVDs for children. Especially "Forgiven". 

See http://www.catholicchapterhouse.com/store/dvds/children-s-dvds/brother-francis-forgiven-the-blessings-of-confession

Read More

Staging for Play-Dating

Aud and I are avid play-daters and have been since she was about 3 months old. We thoroughly enjoy meeting up with mummy and baby friends and making an afternoon of it. As I have mentioned in past posts I have a really amazing circle of mums and babes, most of which have gone back to work, but a couple who are still at home.  I live a little out of the way for a lot of them but have come up with creative ways of hosting like meeting up at the park for a picnic, or stroller walks and splash pads in the summer, mall walks in the cooler days. There are times I have hosted at my place and as I was getting ready for our play-date I couldn’t help but giggle to myself about how I ‘stage’ my home for company.

I’m not saying I don’t enjoy a clean house, or that my place is a dirty, frazzled mess all the time. I actually thoroughly enjoy cleaning and organizing but since becoming a mum finding time to do a full out clean or even the daily dusting is few and far between.

So here I go, picking up toys, dusting every shelf, shining the mirrors, scrubbing the bathroom and then it dawned on me. Does my mum friend really believe this is what my place looks like everyday? Am I really fooling her to believe I make our bed every day? That my kitchen looks this immaculate? Not to mention the fresh baked cookies and pumpkin spice candle for smell. If only I was a real estate agent staging homes for a living, I think I would do pretty well.

How funny is that?  Her and I have actually had a good laugh about it before. How we try our best to impress other mums, giving off this façade of a women who keeps it all together, who’s floors are spotless and shelves are dustless. Personally I have never walked into a fellow mum’s home and thought OMG? Why hasn’t she folded the toilet paper ends in her bathroom? Or I see a spot on her mirror, doesn’t she clean? Puh-lease.

 Ready for the truth? I definitely do not make my bed everyday, actually our room usually looks like a clothing bomb went off. I have this bad habit of getting out clothes, changing a million times and never putting them back. Then finally at the end of the week when I can no longer see my dresser I decide to go through it all and put it away.

I do have a habit of vacuuming a couple times a week but only because Audrina will find the smallest of smallest fluff or crumbs and eat it, (ok-do babies have x-ray vision or something?) Aud has also figured out that if she keeps her bottle tilted upside down she can paint a beautiful of milk drops and smears all over the floors…try keeping up with that 45 times a day.

Fresh baked cookies? Ok I might of gone to Tim Horton’s and bought a half dozen of cookies to put out…although I really do bake a mean batch of uh-mazing CCC’s, but who has the time? Let me know if you want my recipe…one tip melt the butter.

So why do I do it? Why do I insist on spending all evening and even during her nap cleaning and getting prepped for a play date that will only result in toys and food everywhere? I guess it’s because I really do have a feeling of satisfaction when it’s over. The feeling of knowing when they walk in they will think, wow her place smells great, or being comfortable putting their babies on my floor not worrying about them eating last nights dinner. Even though the women I am friends with are probably the least judgmental mum’s I have met, I still have this need to impress them.

So I am giving myself a challenge, the next play-date I host I will not go on a cleaning spree, I will not “bake” cookies or light a candle, and I will not pick up Aud’s toys all morning or make my bed. Do you think they will notice? Probably not…because the truth is the only one’s us mum’s need to worry about making an impression on is our kids and to be honest I think Aud would love it way better if I didn’t spend the time putting away her blocks only to have her have to find them and spill them out onto the floor for the 3^rd time today thinking, ‘I wonder how many times she wants to play this game?”

To read more of my blog please visit http://newmumontheblog.wordpress.com sharing experiences, insights, and advice from one mum to another

Read More

F.. this s...!

Yes, its what you thought. And I'm not angry and not venting. I want to write a few paragraphs on my experience with un-teaching my son those bad words. Well, one bad word in particular. The F word!

I guess my husband and I lived without children too long, both as a family and individuals before we got married. I worked in marketing and promotions, my husband was a DJ. Our primarily night-time lifestyle added its mark on the language we use. Used. Past tense.

As Santino grew and started developing his speaking skills, he now repeats everything we say. Except "thank you" and "please" of course. Well... even... okay, will tell you later.

So yes, he heard the "F" word, as we said it a few times in front of him, even though we had been very careful, trying to watch what we say. Only if something falls on your toe, you find marker all over the wall, poop falls out of the newly changed diaper, yes, you kind of sort of forget the etiquette and exclaim it with a passion. F...!!!

It only took two or three times, and here he was, my 18 months son, walking around, hitting a ball with a stick and saying.. you know what. If he tripped and fell, he said it. If he lost something under a couch or a parked car, he said it. Sometimes he would just mumble gibberish, passionately waving his arms at a wall, finishing up with the "F...". And the more he noticed how we laugh, the more he wanted to say it.

It was the time to make a change.

I realized, that saying "don't say f..." will only encourage Santino say it more and more. I noticed, there is a little bit of an actor in him. He loves attention, and if he sees how people laugh, he'll do it over and over. This is something I am trying to incorporate in our toilet training process. Well, that's another story.

First, I thought we'll just ignore him, and this word will die and fall out by itself, as nobody pays attention. That wasn't the case, Santino kept saying it, savoring every moment he got to use it. Plus, it was really hard to keep telling everybody, just not to pay attention. I gotta admit, it was funny, the way he said it.

Then I decided to turn his attention from the bad word, to something more acceptable by the society. He didn't budge. Next, I tried re-setting his mind, to thinking he is saying something else. Like right after he said it, I would say "funny", in an attempt to convince him, that that was actually the word he was trying to say.

I experimented with various words, including "fudge", which I hated. It just didn't sound ... satisfying. Wasn't right.

Finally, I found it! Fire truck! It really only took me about 5 or 6 times, after which Santino almost completely forgot THAT word, and switched his attention to fire trucks. It is his new obsession.

And by the way, for about 7 or 8 months now, every time I give Santino something I would say "thank you mama", if he does something I ask, I say "thank you Santino", I've been reminding of the "please" word multiple times per day since January as well. Did he say it? No. Not once. Only about a month ago, when after every time I heard Santino saying F... (not that often anymore, I must say), he finally started saying "please" and "thank you". Sometimes even without prompt!

Thank you, baby!

Read More

Guest blogger, Nellie Johnson: Stages of Childbirth

Since many of our Goober Gang moms are expecting now their second babies and with the due dates approaching fast, I think this article from our new guest blogger, Nellie Johnson of Laborade.com, would be an interesting read.

Nellie Johnson is a registered nurse and certified Lamaze educator. Her work is based in organic practices that help mothers and mothers-to-be gather the knowledge that they need to trust their own intuition and do what they believe is the best for the physical and emotional health of themselves and their families.

If you have questions for Nellie, just email her at: nellie [at] laborade [dot] com.


It looks complicated at first glance: 4 rows, 4 columns, ranges, pie charts, new terminology.  However, focus your eyes on the far right column with the pictures of the little pregnant lady faces.  Those four images sum up birth.

1st Face: “I’m having a baby!”  Contractions have begun but are not painful or frequent enough to get in the way of life.  You go for  a walk, bake a birthday cake and call your mom.



2nd Face: “Let’s do this.”  With contractions getting longer, stronger and closer together you get more serious and instinctually activate your plans for baby’s arrival.


3rd Face: “Oh sh*t, I forgot this was going to hurt.”  This brief phase is intense with lots of contractions and few breaks.  Feeling helpless is common and support people are key.


4th Face: “I need to push!”  You can’t deny this feeling and find a new sense of determination, strength and relief.


Ta-da!  Cute little baby on your chest.
If you find more comfort in knowing the numbers and terminology around , explore the rest of the picture.  You’ll discover that that 1st Face represents “Early Labor”, that Stage 2 starts when the cervix is 10cm, and every other detail about the phases and stages of labor.
(photo courtesy of Childbirth Graphics)

Read More